And all of a sudden
I miss you
And my heart hurts; it aches
When I pass a beautiful garden
When I see a charitable act
When I meet a kind soul
Hell… Whenever something good happens
I want to tell you
I want to hear you laugh
I want to see your kind smile
I want feel the warmth of your loving heart
I miss the matriarch of my family. I miss my grandmother. The force in which it hits me sometimes… It hurts, it’s stunning, like a slap in my face. There are days I forget she isn’t here. Those days I think about visiting after work. I think about making her tea and talking for hours. I think about her making jokes about her soulmate while he’s in the room. I think of her morbid sense of humor, her acceptance of disease and death, how she missed giving blood and how she wanted to give her body to science and was disappointed they couldn’t use it.
I think of how I told her I had a girlfriend, and how she, a very catholic woman, hugged me and told me it didn’t matter, as long as her soul was good. How she laughed and said “well you never know what you’re going to encounter when you wake up in the morning”. She told me she wanted to meet her. Then she got sick. She was never able to.
We see you in the sunsets, in the growth of the gardens, in the old souls and the kind eyes. We see you in the warm embraces and the laughter shared among loved ones.
And we miss you, more than anything. Oh my goodness, how we miss you.